Pottery Barn Fight Club

About a year ago, I was in Columbus hanging out with a bunch of my guy friends.

One of the guys (lets call him Pedro) brought up the subject of shopping with his wife. He mentioned that they went shopping the night before and stopped into Pottery Barn for some crates and shit.

Another guy immediately stopped mid-drink, sputtered a bit and blurted out:

"My God! I love to shop at Pottery Barn."

I was completely and utterly shocked. Why in the Hell were they talking about Pottery Barn while we're hanging out, tossing back some brews and being, well, men?

I've got a theory: If you're a dude and you love shopping at Pottery Barn, basically you're a fruitcake.

Maybe you’ve dabbled in college. Maybe you're interested in doing it right now. Maybe you will come out when you're older. But, if you love to shop at Pottery Barn, you are as fruity as a pack of Skittles.

I'm going to start a club. I'm going to blatantly rip off the movie Fight Club and call it POTTERY BARN FIGHT CLUB.

The first rule of Pottery Barn Fight Club is
YOU DON"T TALK ABOUT POTTERY BARN.

The second rule of Pottery Barn Fight Club is
YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT POTTERY BARN.

And, if you do talk about Pottery Barn,
YOU'VE GOT TO FIGHT.

Anytime you're hanging out with the guys and one of them talks about POTTERY BARN, punch him as hard as you can in his right arm. That's it. Then don't say anything.

If he mentions Pottery Barn again, punch him in his left arm as hard as you can. Repeat arms, every time he brings it up. Eventually, he'll realize the error of his ways and stop talking about Pottery Barn.

If he doesn't stop talking about Pottery Barn,
YOU'VE GOT TO FIGHT.

So guys, let's bring a little male-induced testosterone back to the good ol' United States of America, eh?

Let's stop talking shop, literally.

Unless, of course, you're talking about Sam's Club, Home Depot or Gorilla Glue.

Then, I'm all ears.