Eimertoons - Mr. Happy Face

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Finally....My FREE Novella of Short Stories

Well, since waaaaaaayyyy back in May of 2011, I teased and promised that this would eventually happen. It took a while, but I wanted to make sure all the i's were dotted and t's crossed (so to speak).

If you click on the below link, you will be able to download MISCELLANEOUS DEBRIS - my FREE novella of short stories written circa 1999-2005. Besides two or three copyediting jobs and some tiny grammatical clean-ups (by yours truly) these stories have been untouched. Because, as I state in my forward, 'Where's the fun in that?'

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD AND SAVE!!!

The idea to toss these stories into a collection started about a year ago, when I came across a number of odd little writings that I had collected in an online folder aptly titled 'Miscellaneous Debris'. As I read over the stories, I thought, "You know, these aren't that bad. They're not that good, but they're not that bad either."

Then, I started to think about all of those people who are afraid to showcase their work for fear of getting chastised, laughed at, or berated. To be honest, I thought of myself because it's been a personal fear that has kept me from trying to publish any of my fiction to this date. I know. I know. No inhibitions. But, it's harder than you think.

So, as a form of carthasis, I thought I'd release these not-so-great works of fiction as a stepping stone to create something better, something bigger, something that will eventually, hopefully entertain the masses. And by masses, I mean more people than the three readers of this blog and my Facebook friends.

Before you start reading...I wanted to add a couple more thoughts:

• This isn't my best work, but it is some of my earliest short story work.
• I would welcome your feedback on your favorite and not-so-favorite stories (if any).
• I'm 100% sure that I'm NOT going to rewrite any of these stories, so save your edits.
• If you do see some type-os, please make note, I have not formally sent this document to a proofreader.
• Out of the 20 short, short stories in the novella, I would consider SYMPATHY, THE BLEEDER, THE BIRDFEEDER and THE BUM my personal favorites.
• My least favorite would have to be CRAZY DAY, but I just tossed it in for shits and giggles.
• I hope you have fun reading these as much fun as I had writing them.
• You can easily read this book with an iPad or iPhone...so download away.
• Right now, I have two books started that I can now focus my full attention towards completing.
• I'm not going to post this post to Facebook until January 15, 2012.

Well, that said, enjoy.

Now that I have baptized myself of these mediocre stories, onto bigger and better things.

My Facebook Account. To Delete or Not Delete?

So,I've had a Facebook account for about a year and a half. It's great, I get to hit some of my close friends with some not-so-kind sarcastic jabs. I also get to post some impromptu movie reviews and talk about the books that I'm reading, which is more than likely boring to everyone on my friends list.

However, there are a couple things about Facebook that I find unsettling, which is making me question whether or not I should even have an account:

EVERYONE'S SO GODDAMN NICE.
I'm sick. Sick I tell you. Of everyone clasping hands and singing Kumbayaa to each other on Facebook. 'You're kids are so beautiful.' 'I'm sending you a hug.' What happened to good old fashioned smart-ass sarcasm? I haven't seen it on Facebook. Even some of my friends, who are the biggest sarcastic assholes in the world, are as nice and mellow as little kittens. Frankly, this fakeness is beginning to wear on me.

WHEN FRIENDS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.
It's been nice getting in touch with my childhood friends and seeing what they look like and what they've been up to. But, I'm a little uncomfortable sharing every single thing that I'm doing on the face of the planet with a guy (or girl) that I hung out with in first grade. People change. Ideas change. Stuff changes. Life changes. That first grader that I used to play Godzilla with could have turned into some sort of serial killer and, worse yet, a pedophile. Who knows!! I'm not Ashton Kutcher, I'm not trying to get a million friends so I can brag to the world. In fact, I'd prefer less friends. I tend to enjoy more discreet fireside chats compared to a megaphone on the steps of the State house.

PEOPLE PUTTING THEIR KID'S FACES UP IN PLACE OF THEIR OWN.
Look I know you love your kids. I'm sure they're fantastic and great. But what is the necissity of tossing their picture up on your Facebook profile page. Sort of defeats the purpose doesn't it? It's your page, not your kids. Let's just stop the nonsense.

UPLOADING PICTURES OF YOUR KIDS.
Look I'm a fan of showing off your kids. I think my kids are the cat's meow. But I'm rather hesitant tossing their photos up for the whole world to see (i.e. note the pedophile example above). I'm not saying that I'm famous, but I would hope to give my kids some sort of discretion prior to their teenage years. And, I'm not free of sin. Yes, I post photos of my children to my FLICKR account, but I'm now in the process of going back and protecting their images so just anybody can view them. My opinion is that these kids will have plenty of times to embarass themselves in grade school and high school. I'm going to try to avoid people 'finding' photos of my daughter in the bathtub for all the world to see. I dunno, that's just me.

FARMVILLE.
This is simple. I don't care how many cows, chickens or cobs of corn you won in Farmville. Don't care. Don't want to know. Next.

STOP THE BRAGGING.
Not sure, but it seems like Facebook is a place for everyone to one-up each other in the 'look what I'm doing now' department. Wow, you're at Yellowstone! You're in New York City sniffing coke in a bathroom? Cool! You're on a gay cruise with Rosi O'Donnell. Sweet! To be brutally honest, save my close circle of friends, I really don't care what everyone is doing. And, frankly, I don't feel like being jealous of all your exploits. This is probably one of the biggest reasons I'm thinking about deleting my account. Truth be told, I don't want people to know where I am and what I'm doing, save for about 20 of my closest friends.


Well, there you have it. My buddy at work made a New Year's resolution to delete his Facebook account on January 1, 2010. He waited a couple weeks. But he finally did it. I may follow suit. There's only so many hours during the day. And I prefer long writing in this blog more so than quick snippets of what movie's I've watched, what books I've read and what bar I'm currently drinking a 32 oz. Coors Light draft in. (BW3 in case you really care).

Truth be told. Facebook just isn't doing it for me. And, down the line, I think other people will slowly come to this realization as well.

So, if you want to get to know good old Brad, stop by this blog, or if I'm truly interested I may even send you an email. I'm 100% sure, you're going to get a lot more here than my Facebook account.

More Eimer in 2010

Anyone that has a had a kid (or kids) knows that the first two (or three) years are the toughest.

Literally, you have to give up everything to take care of these little bundles of joy. Unless, of course, you're a shitty father or mother.

In any event, the past three years (my wife and I had two kids in less than two years), I've put a lot of stuff on hold in my life including writing, cartooning, running and reading. Oh yeah, and hanging out with friends.

Don't get me wrong, I know that my life is never going to be the same. Hell, that's probably half the reason I signed up for Parenthood. I know there will be challenges, obstacles and problems ahead. There will also be fun times too!

I think having these little munchkins running around the house has revived the creative juices and passion to create. So create I will.

In 2010, I've started a number of projects and set a couple personal goals for myself. Some of the stuff I want to complete in 2010 are, as follows:

• More cartoons (I want to get back to the drawing board so to speak)
• Publish a short story (somewhere, anywhere with exception of this blog)
• Complete a children's book (I have a great idea and I plan to both write and illustrate)
• Finish a novel (I've got three, yes three, started. All good ideas. I want them to be grand
• More posts (Believe it or not, I want to write more Eimer Debris entries. I feel this blog has helped hone my writing skills which leads me too...)
• More 'Stories from Ghetto Kroger' (there's a lot more inside my head)
• Read even more books (this past year, I was able to read 50 books. I feel that this has also motivated me to get my ass in gear)

Daunting task? Yep. But as I get older I have to challenge myself to not fall into the dead-end dumpster of mundane. Everday I'm seeing a little more and more free time pop up. Not much mind you. But enough to keep my creative juices flowing.

And, I should add, as we speak I'm coaching my kids on their creativity. I'm challenging them to create new things, draw more, play more, imagine more...and watch less television.

I've got the creative whip a crackin'!!!! It's good to be back.

Here's to a great 2010...........for me!!!

Eimer Debris Gets Props In The Plain D!

Today, as I did a Yahoo search on my blog, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Eimer Debris got mentioned in The Plain Dealer. Sweet.

Check it out right here (scroll down).

However, I should note - the way the article is written, it seems that in my post, I made a rather disparaging comment about the city. That's not the case. Far from it.

To make the record clear, I love it here in Northeast Ohio!

I came from Columbus, Ohio, which I lived for 13 years prior to my move up North. Compared to Columbus, there's a ton more stuff to do here.

From the CVNP, to the pro sports, to the Metro Parks, to the endless bike paths, lets not forget the great nightlife and restaurants, free summer concerts, the theater district, blah, blah, blah, blah and blah - there's shit load of stuff to enjoy up here throughout the four seasons.

Of course, you have to be motivated enough to go out and find it. I'm not going to help you. In fact, I'd prefer it if you stayed off the Metro Park and CVNP trails - I rather like them a bit barren.

In any event, my move up to Northeast Ohio is probably one of the best decisions I've ever made - well besides going to college, getting married and having two healthy kids.

Later.