Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Will the United States Cease to Exist?

Like a lot of people, I read the Drudgereport almost every day. Sometimes two or three times a day. In my opinion, it has all the relevant news that's fit to read from pretty substantial and verifiable news sources.

In any event, I came across this Drudge post about a leading Russian political analyst who believes our country is heading for collapse - and will divide into separate parts.

The article is brief, but interesting nonetheless. It looks like Cormac McCarthy's vision may be coming to fruition in the United States.

All I can say is that I'm glad that I took those hunter-safety courses when I was little. Because I know how to load, clean and shoot any type of gun not to mention field dress an animal for proper cooking.

Hell, if things turn out, I'll be more useful in this new world than a CEO of a major corporation.

Then, when order is restored, I can resume my copywriting career in my late 80's.

Cool. I've been thinking about changing careers anyhow.

Hunter and Gatherer will look awesome on my resume.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Education of My Kids - Part 2

Last night, I was preparing dinner for my two kids, ages 1.5 and 2.5.

In any event, my daughter was playing with this annoying talking Elmo doll.

My son reached over for it and, in an instant, the Elmo doll flew into the air. In slow motion, it landed on the ground and bounced not once, but twice.

Immediately they both looked up at me with these puppy dog eyes. I guess they wanted me to pick it up or something.

I shook my head and said "No, no. We eat now. Play with Elmo later."
(NOTE: This is how I talk now)

The both started hopping up and down in their seats and howling like a couple of chimpanzees pointing at the talking Elmo doll on the floor.

Honestly, it was a fucking zoo.

"HEY, HEY, HEY," I yelled. "LET'S KNOCK IT OFF!"

The were both silent. I sort of felt a little bad.

I took a deep breath, pulled up a stool, looked them both in the eyes and gave them the following piece of advice....

"You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. No, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need!"

Hmmmm? Not too shabby.

I may have a future as a songwriter.

The Education of My Kids - Part 1

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Holy Shit! Michael Crichton is Dead.

I came across this article announcing the death of Michael Crichton.

Shocker. Not the fact that he's dead. (Everyone dies.) I just never even heard that he was sick.

I've read a handful of his books (some in a single night) including Jurassic Park, Congo, Sphere, Prey and Eaters of the Dead among others.

However, my most favorite Crichton book was his autobiographical adventure novel titled TRAVELS. After achieving everything he wanted in his life by the age of the 30, Crichton went into a bit of a depression. He decided to exorcise his demons by taking a much-needed vacation and, in the process, chronicling his journeys for all of us to read.

Take note from this book (and his death). Live your life to the fullest before - as my friend Brian Z said - you take the eternal dirt nap.

Monday, November 3, 2008

A subtle firing.

If I ever own a company (long shot) and have the opportunity to fire someone that completely pisses me off - this is exactly how I'm going to do it...