Saturday, July 23, 2011

'The Aliens Are Coming'

So, I was hanging out at the pool with my wife and two kids today.

We laughed. We drank. We swam. It was fun.

A couple hours passed and we decided that we were going to leave.

On a small sidenote, the cool thing about having a boy and a girl is the fact that one parent can take one kid into the restroom and change him and vice versa for the other.

So, I was changing my kid into his 'street clothes' and as normal he started babbling. And by babbling I mean singing the Wow, Wow, Wubbzy song followed by some semi-coherent words and a couple understandable sentences followed by babble again.

Then, as I started to put on his shorts, he stopped - mid sentence - turned his head slowly to meet my gaze and said...

"The aliens are coming."

I stopped mid-pull, took a couple steps back and stared at him in disbelief.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"The aliens are coming," he said again and then went back to his babbling, sing-songing, crazy fragmented sentences as happy as can be.

Could this be true? Had my son been sent a message like the children in the Nicholas Cage not-too-shabby Alex Proyas-directed movie Knowing? Did he know something that the adults didn't know?

"When?" was the only word that could be uttered from my mouth. "When will this happen?" I pleaded with my son like he was the newborn Dalai Lama.

"VDM," he said followed by the words "Kaka".

So, assuming my three-year old son picked up Roman Numerology from these aliens...

V - stands for 5
D - stands for 500
M - stands for 1000

So, to paraphrase my son in Star Wars jibberish, "In 1,505 we're all going to shit."

The only questions I have, and this is my big uncertainty here, was he referring to years, days, hours or minutes? Or, am I just really, truly, finally going insane?

I'm going to vote for the former.

Consider yourself warned...sort of.