Eimer's Best Movie Experiences of 2016

Back in the day when my kids were between the ages of one and five, I never thought I'd ever have a chance to pursue my passions again. Now that they're a bit older, I find myself writing more (working on a book), drawing more (going to publish more toons), and watching more movies in the theater (yes!). And the beauty of it all is that I have these two impressionable young minds to educate ... or screw up, along the way.

Well, probably a little of both.

Here are my best movie experiences of 2016. I say 'experiences' because some of these films came out in 2015, some came out a bit later (not this year).

Some other films I wanted to see, but didn't have the time, include Fences, The Edge of Seventeen, Jackie, La La Land, Camera Person, Elle, Moonlight, The Founder, Scorcese's Silence, and Chan Wook Park's The Handmaiden.

Oh yeah, and please tell me your ten favorite film experiences of last year. I'd love to know. And also, can you give my Twitter feed One-Sentence Movie Reviews some love, please?

#10 KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS 

'Kubo & The Two Strings': Imaginative 3D stop-motion film that has both a very creative storyline & stunning art direction. @kubothemovie

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 1, 2016

#9 DEADPOOL

'Deadpool': Dir Miller perfectly combines Vaughn's KICK-ASS with Raimi's DARKMAN, drapes it in a 'Marvel' movie & smothers it in NSFW spunk.

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) October 6, 2016

#8 BROOKLYN

‘Brooklyn’: No explosions, SFX, blood or guts; simply a charming 50's #love story about an Irish immigrant trying to make it in #NYC

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) March 31, 2016

#7 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE 

'10 Cloverfield Lane': Goodman steals the show as a schizophrenic prepper in this well-acted, horror-thriller, non-sequel. #Cloverfield

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) March 13, 2016

#6  THE LOBSTER

'The Lobster': A uniquely absurd look at monogamy, loneliness, and the endless search for a soul mate .. but a very odd search. #TheLobster

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) November 7, 2016

#5 HACKSAW RIDGE

'Hacksaw Ridge': Gibson dips into his bag of ultra-violence to create a poignant, thrilling, pro-American, anti-war movie. #HacksawRidge

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 14, 2016

#4 THE REVENANT

‘#TheRevenant ’: Revenge is a dish best served cold, literally, in this beautiful, brutal Inarritu film with acting props to Leo & Hardy

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) January 31, 2016

#3 HELL OR HIGH WATER

'Hell Or High Water': Gritty bank heist film w/ fine character development shows that it's no country for young men either #hellorhighwater

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 29, 2016

#2 MANCHESTER BY THE SEA

'#ManchesterByTheSea ': Casey Affleck plays a tortured soul in a Lonergan film that's so well written & acted, you'd think it was real.

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 31, 2016

# 1 ARRIVAL

'The Arrival': Director Villeneuve creates one of the smartest sci-fi alien visitation movies I've seen in quite some time. @arrivalmovie

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) November 14, 2016

ALMOST MADE THE CUT:

• Sully
• Sicario
• The End of the Tour
• Pawn Sacrifice
• Spotlight
• Me & Earl & The Dying Girl
• Cinderella
• Green Room
• Finding Dory
• The Bronze
• The Jungle Book
• Don't Think Twice
• Midnight Special
• Diary of a Teenage Girl

CHECK OUT MORE OF EIMER'S FAVORITES:

• Eimer's Favorites of 2015
• Eimer's Favorites of 2014
• Eimer's Favorites of 2013
• Eimer's Favorites of 2012
• Eimer's Favorites of 2011
• Eimer's Favorites of 2010
• Eimer's Top 141 Favorite Movies of All-Time

Eimer's Worst Movies Experiences of 2016

Well, it's been an odd year of film-watching for me.

Like Ulysses getting mesmerized by the Sirens' enchanting song, I've been slowly lulled into the dreamy pit that known as streaming television. Thus, my movie watching has suffered immensely. I find that December, January and February are the times that I ramp up my film watching and knock out (almost) one film a day for two and a half months in the winter.

That said, surprisingly, I've come across a number of duds that I've viewed this past year. Some of these films have made the critics top 10 best list. Some of these films have made audiences swoon with delight. But, not me.

Enjoy this 'worst of' list with a grain of salt. I'm sure there are much more terrible movies out there. But, thanks to Rotten Tomatoes, I've been able to stray away from some of the super duds.


THE 5TH WAVE

'The 5th Wave': It's as if THEY LIVE & INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS mated & spawned a dopey, shallow, clichéd tween. #5thWaveMovie

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 7, 2016

MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN 

'Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children': Tim Burton's adaptation is an incomprehensible, utterly confusing pile of #peregrine poop.

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 17, 2016

SUICIDE SQUAD 

'Suicide Squad': You have these great evil characters, impressive budget, fab director and talent & this is the best you could come up with?

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 16, 2016

THE WITCH 

'The Witch': Almost like a slow #BlairWitch origin story, the film uses moody music & screaming children to terrify, but it mostly annoys.

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) August 25, 2016

A WALK IN THE WOODS 

‘A Walk In The Woods’: If there was a better director & better script, this Appalachian Trail wanderlust film would've been a lot ... better

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 4, 2016

BONE TOMAHAWK

‘Bone Tomahawk’: Avoid this horror/western mash-up that wasted good talent to make a drudgingly slow, anticlimactic pile of horse manure.

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) January 20, 2016

THE SCORCH TRIALS

'The Scorch Trials': This Maze Runner sequel treads a familiar teenage post-apocalyptic zombie-virus plot line that we've all come to detest

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) January 11, 2016

NORM OF THE NORTH

'Norm Of The North': With a flimsy script, dull story, and shoddy animation, you'll dream for this clunky Polar Bear toon to go extinct.

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 16, 2016

PAN

'Pan': This way too expensive, supposed 'fresh' take on Peter Pan is so over CGI'd that the actors themselves even appear to be coded.

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) June 16, 2016

THE INTERN

‘The Intern’: Started off strong & somewhat entertaining, then mutated into an over-acted, predictable Hollywood sapfest. #TheInternMovie

— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) June 22, 2016

What about you? What was your worst film of this year? Let me know and I won't watch it.

LOOKING FOR MORE SHITTY MOVIES?

• Eimer's Worst of 2015
• Eimer's Worst of 2014
• Eimer's Worst of 2013
• Eimer's Worst of 2012
• Eimer's Worst of 2011
• Eimer's Worst of 2010

Eimer's Best Reads of 2016

According to the awesome book-cataloging site Goodreads, last year I plowed through 21 books, read more than 6,776 pages, and gave an 3.4 (out of 5) average rating on said books.

Not to brag ... but I've read harder.

This year, I started reading more books off my Kindle, which might not be a good thing. I still prefer a book book, but I hate reading a book book at night. I like to lug a book book around, but I don't like the bright light of a Kindle book. I like the convenience of book-marking a book book to see how you've progressed (almost like running a marathon), but I don't like a "percentage" of how fast you're reading as a sign of progression through a book... it makes it feel more like a contest than enjoyment.

We'll see how long this Kindle experiment will last. I'm still not sold.

In any event, I checked out a wide-array of books from a wide-array of genres including horror, graphic novels, biographies, mysteries, fantasy, etc. etc. etc. Below are my favs from 2016. Not my best list (see 2012) but I felt there were some solid choices in the bunch nonetheless.

Enjoy ... with links to Amazon for easy-buying.

Old Man's War by John Scalzi

Great read! Almost like a mix between Avatar, Cocoon, and Heinlein's Starship Troopers. Fun, fast entertaining read. Highly recommended if you're a fan of science-fiction.

Trashed by Derf Backderf

Every Christmas, I always tip our sanitation works. After reading this book, I may tip them even more. Jus a terrific graphic novel following a character's (Derf) two years working for the sanitation department. Also, with tons of interesting tidbits about trash and refuse. I find myself thinking about this book quite often, especially the statistics about trash. Very interesting read and highly recommended. If you like this book, also check out Derf's other graphic novel 'My Friend Dahmer'.

But Enough About Me: A Memoir by Burt Reynolds

I grew up watching Burt Reynolds films in the 70's and 80's. Sharky's Machine. Cannonball Run 1 & 2. Hooper. The End. Deliverance. So, there's a special place in my heart for Burt. In this book, Burt takes a look at his entire life from his childhood all the way to Boogie Nights and beyond peppered with great stories - warts and all - about the movie industry, his financial ups and downs, the various ladies in his life and the friends he met along the way. Highly recommended if you're a Reynolds fan.

Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation by Adam Resnick

First off, Cabin Boy is a movie that's near and dear to my heart. I saw it twice (TWICE!) in the movie theater. Many people hated it. I loved it. So, I was really excited to hear that the man who wrote the screenplay for Cabin Boy (among other things) had written a book. A memoir nonetheless. I heard about the book on Mark Maron's WTF podcast and thought 'What the hell? I'll pick it up.' What I found inside where some of the funniest autobiographical stories I've read in quite some time. Just some strong, witty, deeply sarcastic writing that pulled memories of Harvey Pekar's 'American Splendor' as well as Paul Feig's autobiographical work 'Superstud' and 'Kick Me, Adventures in Adolescence' - all recommended by the way. Just a fun, quick read that will - at the very least - have you chuckling to yourself. 

Annihilation (Southern Reach #1) by Jeff VanderMeer

When I found out that Writer/Director Alex Garland (of Ex-Machina fame) was adapting this into a movie with Natalie Portman playing the lead, suffice to say I was intrigued. And I didn't put the book down. After a bit of contemplation, it reminds me a bit of the 90's video games MYST and RIVEN - dystopian, green lands void of humans but filled with mystery around every corner - but it's much more than that. It's a science-fiction mystery, it's a study in psychology and biology, it's horrific, and it's a soap box message about humans interaction with it's surrounding environment. It's pretty damn interesting is what it is and I can totally see why Garland optioned this as his next film. Check 'er out. For your information I read the other two books in the series and I thought they sucked. So, you've been warned.

The City of Mirrors (The Passage #3) by Justin Cronin

Most final trilogy installments suck. I'm looking at you Hunger Games, Southern Reach & Chaos Walking trilogies. I've fawned over Cronin's two previous 'vampire' novels (The Passage and The Twelve) and often contemplated this final installment. How's he going to bring everything together? How will he tie up all the loose ends? Will the story make sense? Well, Cronin succeeds mightily. This is a long trilogy with combined pages totaling more than 2,400. There was a head scratching moment in the middle of the novel discussing the life of a certain person who shall not be named at this moment. But, it works to the overall storyline so well and would be a tragic deletion to the overall scope of the book. Just like Harry Potter, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and the Lord of the Rings - this journey is well worth it. What more can I say? Well written. Well executed. Fantastic dialogue. And the ability to weave words into beautiful sentences that paints the perfect, tragic, violent picture. Highly Recommended.

The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August by Claire North

I'm a sucker for time-travel books. This time-travel book delivers ... and even offers up a different twist in the genra. After you live your life, you get to live it again from birth all the way to death. Over and over and over again. But, it's much more than a time-travel book, it's a bit of a mystery and a thriller. Our protagonist and antagonist going tete-a-tete with one another over the same centuries. Year after freakin' year. Hats off to Claire North. Seems to me like she did her homework on this. Packed with great dialogue and well-written prose, this is one of the better fiction books I've come across this year. Keeps you thinking days and months after reading it.

Almost Interesting by David Spade

Funny book. Follows Spade's life as he grows up, enters college, strikes out with the babes, gets accepted into the SNL cast and beyond. Great behind the scenes stories. And just funny, funny stuff - especially if you like Spade. Highly recommended to listen via Audio because Spade reads the book himself. Enjoy!

The Circle by Dave Eggers

Very great, thought-provoking read. Almost a horror novel in a sense. It's almost like the precursor to Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 and Orwell's 1984 - more so the latter. A Google-esque company strives for total transparency with no secrets, no lies, and no whispers. Is it good? Is it bad? I'm sure plenty of people will lean on one side or another. For me, it's a lesson: once in a while, maybe more often than not, we all should put down that evil rectangular handheld computer device in our hands. Take a moment to step away from the vehicle, look around at our surroundings - and simply go out and stare at the clouds ... without saving it to the cloud.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

Great inspirational read. Motivates you to toss your fears aside, and start getting busy on your writing, your art, your gardening, your DIY project, your jewelry - whatever you do that's creative. One of my speed bumps in life is whether or not I'm going to eventually make some money off of my creative work. Gilbert's book puts all of that crap into perspective with a big 'Who cares!!". I always feel the most satisfied after I send off a cartoon, a piece of writing or finishing a chapter in my forever unpublished book. We should be chasing those creative feelings and not the monetary ones. This book talks about that and much, much more with plenty of mistakes and uh-oh moments that Gilbert made along her journey - which is always nice, and motivating, to read about as well.

Other Top Reads From Year's Past:

• Eimer's Top Reads of 2015
• Eimer's Top Reads of 2014
• Eimer's Top Reads of 2013
• Eimer's top Reads of 2012
• Eimer's Top Reads of 2011
• Eimer's Top Reads of 2010
• Eimer's Top Reads of 2009
• Rendezvous with Rama Review
• Read My FREE Novella of Short Stories
• American Gods Review
• Cash by Cash Review
• Walk in the Woods Review
• The Road Review
• The Mist Review

Eimertoons - Flo's Fun Land Coloring Book Page

Soooo, since adult coloring books are all the rage, one of our senior art directors had a brilliant idea to create a Progressive-Themed Adult Coloring book to sell to our more than 26,000 employees via our merchandise site.

She reached out to all of the designers (and myself) to create this one-of-a-kind art. Of course, I threw my hat into the ring. I like a good cartooning challenge.

There were only three rules, it had to (1) Be Fun, (2) Be Progressive, and (3) Be Easy To Color.

For a couple weeks, I couldn't think of anything. I was getting depressed. No ideas were seeping into my noggin.

Then, one weekend, I was organizing our basement and came across one of our kid's children's books called Tickets to Ride, An Alphabetic Amusement created by Mark Rogalski.

I started shuffling through the pages and came across the image near the back of the page where the entire park comes together:

Then, I got an idea. I got an awfully creative, fun idea ...

FLO'S FUNLAND!

(click to enlarge, print out and color!)