Like Ulysses getting mesmerized by the Sirens' enchanting song, I've been slowly lulled into the dreamy pit that known as streaming television. Thus, my movie watching has suffered immensely. I find that December, January and February are the times that I ramp up my film watching and knock out (almost) one film a day for two and a half months in the winter.
That said, surprisingly, I've come across a number of duds that I've viewed this past year. Some of these films have made the critics top 10 best list. Some of these films have made audiences swoon with delight. But, not me.
Enjoy this 'worst of' list with a grain of salt. I'm sure there are much more terrible movies out there. But, thanks to Rotten Tomatoes, I've been able to stray away from some of the super duds.
THE 5TH WAVE
'The 5th Wave': It's as if THEY LIVE & INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS mated & spawned a dopey, shallow, clichéd tween. #5thWaveMovie— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 7, 2016
MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN
'Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children': Tim Burton's adaptation is an incomprehensible, utterly confusing pile of #peregrine poop.— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 17, 2016
SUICIDE SQUAD
'Suicide Squad': You have these great evil characters, impressive budget, fab director and talent & this is the best you could come up with?— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 16, 2016
THE WITCH
'The Witch': Almost like a slow #BlairWitch origin story, the film uses moody music & screaming children to terrify, but it mostly annoys.— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) August 25, 2016
A WALK IN THE WOODS
‘A Walk In The Woods’: If there was a better director & better script, this Appalachian Trail wanderlust film would've been a lot ... better— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 4, 2016
BONE TOMAHAWK
‘Bone Tomahawk’: Avoid this horror/western mash-up that wasted good talent to make a drudgingly slow, anticlimactic pile of horse manure.— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) January 20, 2016
THE SCORCH TRIALS
'The Scorch Trials': This Maze Runner sequel treads a familiar teenage post-apocalyptic zombie-virus plot line that we've all come to detest— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) January 11, 2016
NORM OF THE NORTH
'Norm Of The North': With a flimsy script, dull story, and shoddy animation, you'll dream for this clunky Polar Bear toon to go extinct.— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 16, 2016
PAN
'Pan': This way too expensive, supposed 'fresh' take on Peter Pan is so over CGI'd that the actors themselves even appear to be coded.— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) June 16, 2016
THE INTERN
What about you? What was your worst film of this year? Let me know and I won't watch it.‘The Intern’: Started off strong & somewhat entertaining, then mutated into an over-acted, predictable Hollywood sapfest. #TheInternMovie— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) June 22, 2016
LOOKING FOR MORE SHITTY MOVIES?
No comments:
Post a Comment