Wednesday, June 4, 2008

One Sentence Movie Reviews - Late Spring

As the days get longer and the weather gets warmer, my movie-watching gets smaller and smaller. So it goes. So it goes.

That said, here are some more one sentence movie reviews to quench your Springtime thirst...

Grace Is Gone
If my wife ever dies in Iraq, I'm going to rent this movie for my kids to watch.

Not as good as First Blood, but much better than Rambo 3.

If the marketing weren't enough, JJ Abrams and company does everything that Roland Emmerich's crappy Godzilla flick failed to do.

Strange Wilderness
Take a great idea about Bigfoot and some great comedic actors and mix it with a terrible screenplay and incompetent director and you'll get this piece of terrible-tasting poo. (And yes I eat pieces of shit for breakfast!)

The Golden Compass
I would rather shove a golden compass up my ass than watch this movie again.

The Apartment
Great Billy Wilder movie, but why can't these corporate bigwigs get a hotel room to bang their mistresses rather than using Jack Lemmon's shitty place?

Death at a Funeral
British people (and an American midget) being British funny at a British funeral.

The Savages
Probably what my brother and I are going to be like when my parent(s) get older.

The Orphanage
This movie gets the chills the old-fashioned eaaaaaarns it.

28 Weeks Later
Not as good as 28 Days Later, but better than Land of the Dead.

Reservation Road
A bunch of Academy-award nominated actors get together to make a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie.

Rocket Science
It's Top Gun for high school stutterers.

There Will Be Blood
After writing about it myself here and my buddy writing about it here, I am convinced this PTA film (which has a Stanley Kubrickian feel to it) will be talked about in film circles long after we're alive.

Good movie but, c'mon, I don't know any 16-year old girl that knows all of Dario Argento's movies by heart.

Other One Sentence Movie Reviews:

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