Thursday, January 3, 2008

Playing The Game of Life.

I recently played Milton Bradley's The Game of Life.

I decided to take the college route and became a doctor.

Just like that, I was making $90,000 a payday. (All the while, I can't remember working on one single patient.)

In short, LIFE was good.

Suddenly, I got married to this beautiful pink peg. She was tall, slender and had a beautiful pink head. She was perfect.

We quickly got hitched at this beautiful white church. It was a wedding that I would soon forget. To be totally honest, I can't even remember the bachelor party. (Don't tell the wife. Ha Ha!)

We consumated our relationship during our honeymoon and had a number of pink and blue pegs on our journey through LIFE. (The time just whizzes by doesn't it?)

In addition to collecting a payday (sometimes two during a spin), I donated some of my cash to charities. Hell, I even had to pay bills and taxes along the way.

We were a family. One crank of the wheel at a time, we were living LIFE.

Ain't it grand?

So here I am in my beautiful green car, with my beautiful pink wife and a carload of blue and pink pegs. Then I think to myself, "Well, how did I get here?"

I passed one of my final paydays and collected my final paycheck. Then, I drove my family across a bridge, past the farmhouse shack and headed straight to the mansion next door.

I pulled myself out of my car, stretched my aching bones. I then gazed at my pink wife and my pink and blue kids. (I was working and driving so much that I really didn't get a chance to know them.)

The wind was blowing. The leaves were falling. There was a slight chill in the air. I felt it in my heart.

It was time to retire.

"This game called LIFE played out pretty fast," I thought to myself. "Seems like only 15 minutes ag0 that I graduated, got married and had kids."

Then I got depressed. Then I got desperate.

Then, with a makeshift purple plastic rifle that I fashioned from two of my kids with a burning match, I shot myself in my big, blue mind.

Goodbye LIFE. I'm headed to that great big multi-colored cardboard box in the sky.


cbrown said...

With no mention of the LIFE pegs being shaped like penii...

Your Finest Eimer said...

Yep. Can you believe I didn't even think about that? Hmmm. Hopefully, I'm not losing it. I'm thinking of a LIFE cartoon. Maybe a guy banging a pink peg or the guy with his peg family at the laundromat to an onlooker's dismay. Not sure yet.