The United States of Chubby

Not sure if it’s the protective parents or their lazy spawn, but kids and adults are getting less and less mobile and more and more stagnant as the years roll along.

Especially when it comes to going outside to play.
I remember years ago when my brother and I were in grade school, my mom would slowly creep into our rooms and whisper in our ear "Just wanted to tell you that school was cancelled due to snow, you can go back to sleep."

With a smile on my face, I pulled the blanket over my head and drifted off into a deep sleep in anticipation of the white gold wonderland waiting for me outside.

When we awoke, we’d go to the living room window and quickly scan the snow. After deeming the collection of flakes sled-worthy, we'd grab a quick breakfast then hit the slopes to our hearts content.

We'd go in for a quick lunch, then we'd head back out to sled, play football, go hiking in the woods and, in general, have a helluva time. As the day wore on and night fell, you could still find us outside looking for new sledding paths to carve.

Oh, what a feeling. We were dancing on the ceiling.

Last winter, when I took my dogs on a walk in Lakewood, Ohio. I’d ask myself, "Where are the fucking kids?"

No kids playing in the snow. No kids building snowmen. No kids playing with their parents outside. Where was everyone?

Oh yeah, I forgot. American Idol was on.

As the father of two young kids, I’m disgusted with how our society is teaching young children that it’s cool to stay inside and watch TV or play video games.

And eat. And eat. And eat. And eat.

These little fat kids and their fat parents need to click off their fat TV shows, get outside and breathe some oxygen.

Wait a minute!!! What am I saying?

Scratch that. On second thought, stay exactly where you are.

I hear there’s another clip show of American Idol on tonight. Better stay inside to see who gets voted off.

I want that sled-riding hill for my kids and myself.