One-Sentence Movie Reviews - Spring Break Edition

Haven't written my one-sentence movie reviews in quite some time. Thought I'd stretch my creative muscles, fire up the old engine and take you on an (almost) Spring Break cruise of some currently viewed films.


INSIDE JOB - 5 stars
Wow, thanks to these assholes, I now know where half of my 401k went!

DUE DATE - 2 stars
It’s PLANES TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES for the new generation...minus the humor.

127 HOURS - 5 stars
I’ve never had so much fun anticipating a guy cutting off his own arm.

LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS - 2 stars
You’ll want to take some other drugs after you’ve watched this cliché romantic dreck.

BEST WORST MOVIE - 3 stars
A documentary about the worst movie ever made, TROLL 2, which turned into the best movie ever made, according to bunch of film geeks trying to recreate ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.

CYRUS - 4 stars
Jonah Hill, as the son, and John C. Reilly, as the boyfriend, successfully go head-to-head for the affection of Marisa Tomei.

PLEASE GIVE - 3 stars
Who knew a movie about a Manhattan family waiting patiently for an old lady next door to die because they want to renovate their home could be so heartfelt and entertaining?

GET LOW - 3 stars
I thought I was showing up for a comedy about a guy who wants to throw a funeral for himself before he dies, but instead I watched a drama.

LAST TRAIN HOME - 3 stars
Heck, my commute to Cleveland is a breeze compared to watching this documentary about Chinese migrant workers who travel from the big city to see their family only once a year.

RED HILL - 3 stars
This is a meh aussie revenge tale, with a predictable twist ending.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 - 2 stars
Watching this movie made me nostalgic for the suckiness of the first one.

LET ME IN - 4 stars
It’s an almost shot-for-shot remake of the foreign movie LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, but made for pussy Americans who hate to read subtitles.

DOGTOOTH - 4 stars
This creepy foreign Academy Award-nominated film is what M. Knight Shamalyan’s THE VILLAGE had the potential to be.

ENTER THE VOID - 4 stars
Like running a visual marathon with your eyes, this movie is a bit more upbeat than Noe’s rape revenge tale IRREVERSIBLE, but not much.

BLACK SWAN - 5 stars
This horror movie makes me want to partake in the sadistic, twisted world of ballet, and also bang Natalie Portman!

EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP - 3 stars
This Banksy-directed film is half-documentary (the first half) and half-SPINAL TAP (the last half), but not too shabby all-around.

PIRAHNA 3D - 3 stars
If you’re a fan of gore, half-eaten genitalia and killer Pirahnas, this movie is perfect for you.

PREDATORS - 3 stars
Exceeded expectations especially since I was expecting to watch a big shit sandwich with my eyes.

EASY A - 3 stars
This film wanted to be an 80’s romantic teen comedy so bad, and it almost succeeded.

FLIPPED - 3 stars
Another great Rob Reiner film about growing up in the 50’s - that is a tiny bit happier than STAND BY ME.

SOCIAL NETWORK - 5 stars
With films like SE7EN, ZODIAC, FIGHT CLUB and this, I’m convinced David Fincher has the Midas touch when it comes to filmmaking.

Well, there you have it. Be on the lookout for some fresh, new one-sentence movie reviews in late Spring! Maybe sooner.

To quench your thirst, you can view older Eimer Debris One-Sentence Movie Reviews right here.