Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Eimer's Best Netflix Reviews - ERASER (1996)

Hello and welcome to Iron Chef where todays ingredients are for a paint-by-numbers action flick called Eraser.

STEP ONE: Take an action star and a person in trouble. For a spicier taste, make one white and the other black.

STEP TWO: Mix in some sort of plot involving sex, guns, drugs, family, revenge or money.

STEP THREE: Sprinkle in some explosions, some witty dialogue and a couple catch phrases.

STEP FOUR: Make the bad guy get his just desserts in the end.

STEP FIVE: Add a happy ending and make the two people embrace. (If its two men: they shake hands exchange witty banter. If its a woman and a man: they kiss.)

STEP SIX: Simmer for two hours. Voila! You have just created almost every action movie ever made (i.e. LETHEL WEAPON 1-4, DIE HARD 1-3, RUSH HOUR, BAD BOYS, PUNISHER etc.) In my personal opinion, this flick starring Arnold Shwarzenneger (white) and Vanessa Williams (black) signified the end of the action movie, at least for a while.

In addition to all of the above ingredients, it's very predictable, very bland and very so-so of a movie. I'm so bored, I cant even go on.

Grade: D

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