Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Education of My Kids - Part 2

Last night, I was preparing dinner for my two kids, ages 1.5 and 2.5.

In any event, my daughter was playing with this annoying talking Elmo doll.

My son reached over for it and, in an instant, the Elmo doll flew into the air. In slow motion, it landed on the ground and bounced not once, but twice.

Immediately they both looked up at me with these puppy dog eyes. I guess they wanted me to pick it up or something.

I shook my head and said "No, no. We eat now. Play with Elmo later."
(NOTE: This is how I talk now)

The both started hopping up and down in their seats and howling like a couple of chimpanzees pointing at the talking Elmo doll on the floor.

Honestly, it was a fucking zoo.

"HEY, HEY, HEY," I yelled. "LET'S KNOCK IT OFF!"

The were both silent. I sort of felt a little bad.

I took a deep breath, pulled up a stool, looked them both in the eyes and gave them the following piece of advice....

"You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. No, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need!"

Hmmmm? Not too shabby.

I may have a future as a songwriter.

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The Education of My Kids - Part 1

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

surprised you didn't use this one instead:

But Little Do You Know About Something That I Talk About
I'm Tired Of Driving It's Due Time That I Walk About
But In The Meantime, I'm Wise To The Demise
I've Got Eyes In The Back Of My Head So I Realize
Well I'm Dr. Spock I'm Here To Rock Y'All
I Want You Off The Wall If You're Playing The Wall
I said What'cha Want

Anonymous said...

My Dad used to play that song every Christmas morning before we opened our presents.