Monday, December 6, 2010

The most wonderful time of the year?

So, on my way to work, battling breezy snowdrifts and snowflakes the size of extra large Frosted Flakes, I was thinking about Christmas.

Then I started thinking about Holidays. Then I started thinking about the best holiday.

Then I started thinking about my mom.

Last week, we were talking about holidays and she said, "Seems weird don't it?"

"What," I asked my mom.


"Never thought about it," I said.

"Well, it's just funny that everyone in the entire United States bought into this, this, this weird holiday where you buy a turkey, bake it and eat it on a specific day."

After thinking about it, I said, "Yeah, that is weird."

"What if we just told them to fuck off," my mom blurted out.


"The people that create these stupid holidays."

I found myself nodding to my mom in agreement, like she was delivering a sermon to hundreds of thousands of listeners at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC.

"Yeah," I screamed.

You know, mom is right. Holidays are weird. But, just like pooping on the toilet or eating lunch or watching TV or riding a bike - a lot of things humans do are pretty weird.

But, after mulling over the different holidays and thinking about which holiday is the best, I may have to go with two options - Fourth of July and Memorial Day.

Memorial Day kicks off the great weather in Ohio. Memorial Day is the official crack of the gun to start the race of warmness to Northeast Ohio. Plus, you know damn well you're going to be drunk at least one of the three vacation days.

Fourth of July is awesome for a number reasons. First, it's right smack dab in the middle of summer, lots of parties, lots of drinking, lots of friendly get togethers and people blowing the shit out of stuff.
Also, it's two days before my birthday, and on the opposite side of the spectrum on the calendar than Christmas.

Not sure that consitutes a good holiday. But, there's very little that needs to be done to enjoy these two great holidays.

Except for copious amounts of drinking.

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