It's all in the numbers. Life, that is.

Just got back from my doctor. I had a blood test to check my cholestoral and other stuff. It's amazing how much they can read from a couple vials of blood.

In any event,

- My cholestorel isn't great (204)
- My good cholestoral is bad (45)
- My bad cholestoral is bad (130 - think)
- My triglycerides were up (due to frequent stops to Dunkin Donuts, no doubt)
- My liver function was OK. Not great. OK

Well, why am I highlighting all of this to total strangers? I don't know. But I do know that I'm not 25 anymore. I'm going to be 38 in July, which is very weird writing it (even saying it). I still feel like I'm 25. Perhaps, I'm still eating that way as well.

While I was on a run yesterday, I was thinking how bad off my body would be if I didn't exercise. Take note, I got these crappy results and I EXERCISE ALMOST EVERY DAY.

(sigh)

Well, at least I don't have cancer. At least, I don't have some sort of crazy kidney or liver disease. At least, it's just high cholestorol. Which can be treated with a pill.

Speaking of pills, it feels like I'm at CVS every other day picking up prescriptions for either myself, my kids and my wife.

I like that my bartender knows my name and my drink.

I don't like that my pharmacist knows my name and what drugs I'm taking.

Notes from a Meeting...

The dishwasher. The horror. The horror.

There are many things I dislike in life. Toilet paper in an unflushed toilet, stepping into a puddle with socks and, well, death. But, lately something’s that been grinding on my nerves like a kid scratching his fingernails across a chalkboard is the dishwasher.

I hate the fucking dishwasher. I hate loading it. I hate unloading it. I hate washing off the dishes before you unload it. I hate the dripping water from the dishes that you step in after you load the dishwasher.

I’ve talked about it here before, when you have kids, you’re in the kitchen. When you’re not preparing food for the kids (or yourself), not cleaning up the kitchen, not cleaning noodles and vegetables out of the drainer, not serving drinks and snacks, you’re either cleaning out or filling up the dishwasher.

And let me tell you, it’s mind-numbing.

Seeing the same plates, the same cups, the same silverware, day after day after day after day after day…..after day. It can wear on you, man.

You know how the wife and husband sort of split up the duties around the house? Well, looks like I got the mowing (yes!) and cleaning out the dishwasher (no!). I haven’t delved into that part of my wife's life as to why the dishwasher is taboo. Sure, she does other stuff (for the kids and the house) that I’m happy to not have anything to do with.

However, it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m sick of staring at the dishwasher.

Which remind me of a movie I saw last year. It’s probably one of the best scenes I’ve witnessed in quite some time.

And it has to do with a goddamn dishwasher.

The movie was ‘Rachel Getting Married’ starring Oscar-nominated Anne Hathaway and directed by Oscar-winner Jonathan Demme. The scene in question that I surprisingly often reflect upon as I’m emptying and stocking the dishwasher is about halfway into the film.

It’s a great scene involving the future father-in-law (name) and the future son-in-law (name). Paul, the father-in-law, played by Bill Irwin, starts loading up the dishwasher and Sidney, the future son-in-law, played by Tunde Adebimpe, butts in and shows Paul how it’s done. Of course, the patriarch of the family has to protect his manhood and it becomes a contest, of sorts, into who can load the dishwasher the efficiently and quickly.

In my opinion, it’s a wonderful scene that captures the character of the actors, the passing of the torch of his daughter to his future son-in-law, and just adds a fresh slice of human condition into a film – which is something that I love to see. I'm curious if this was an impromptu scene thought up by Demme and or the screenwriter during filming. It seems unscripted. Well, the entire film has a documentary feel like you're a fly on the wall of this big family who is celebrating their lives while shadowing their skeletons.

So, until, they think of another way to wash dishes, I will forever be reminded of this scene from one of my not in my top 141 movies of all time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good film. It’s just not my all-time favorite.

If you haven’t seen it, I’d rent the flick. Not just for this particular scene, but for the entire experience. Especially the wedding ceremony and reception. Very trippy.

Thinking back. It’s funny how those little snippets of film experiences subconsciously get fused into your brain.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with a film?

Submitted my Children's Book Story.

Well, today could be the day that changes everything for Eimer's future.

Why?

I just submitted my children's story idea to a publisher.

Now the waiting begins.

I talked about it a little here, and here. But I'm really not going to give too much away until I sign some sort of contract with someone.

Okay, how about this? A year from now, if no one bites on this book, I'll publish it on this blog for all to see - and steal.

Sound good? Not to me.

Hopefully, someone will snag up this story. It's just too good to be tossed into the freebie bin.

We'll see.

Eimertoons - Who's Your Muse?

(click to enlarge)

Hey! Parenting is getting easier.

For the past three years, I've glanced out the window at beautiful sunny days, pining to get outside and enjoy the great outdoors.

Then I begrudgingly would glance at my kids' closed doors, anxiously waiting for them to wake up from their naps so I could get outisde.

You know...people say that the first two years of your kid's life on this planet is pure bliss.

Let me tell you, most of them are lying.

As a matter of fact, the first two years of a child's life is a lot of:

- Buttwiping
- Sitting around
- Hanging inside the house
- Hovering
- Making sure they don't smack their head on sharp corners
- Feeding
- Getting woken up at night
- Missing out on life's events (which I wrote about previously)

Like I said, not for me.

However, with my daughter almost 4 and my son almost 3, I think I've hit a fatherhood turning point this spring.

Just yesterday, I was able to mow my entire 2.5 acre lawn with my kids hanging out in the backyard playing. Sure, I gave them each lawn-mower rides while mowing. But it was so great to see them walking around, picking up sticks, throwing rocks and being actual kids.

And it was liberating for me.

This spring and summer we've got a number of funcentric kid things on the docket...more trips to the swimming pool, amusement parks (Kennywood and Cedar Point), zoos (Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Akron and Columbus), road trips, cookouts, soccer, hiking on trails, vacation to the Jersey Shore, and let's not forget their first film at a bonafide movie theater (Toy Story 3).

Maybe, even possibly, a camping trip. (probably not).

And you know what? I'm looking forward to every single one of them. To add to that, I don't even feel like I'm 37. I feel like I did when I just graduated college. But a little smarter with a little more money in my bank account.

But I digress...

Yep, I put in my solid three years of baby rearing. Now it's time to get outside, rub the eye boogers out of my eyes and take a deep breath of the nice, warm outside air.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm finally back. With no more babies in tow.

Only pre-schoolers

My Clash of the Titans Redux Memory

With the new release of Clash of the Titans movie last week, I was reminded of this piece I wrote on a certain cinematic experience at the Ohio Valley Mall way back in 1981 - when I was 9-years old.

Enjoy it right here.