Summer. It turns me upside down. Summer. Summer. Summer. It's like a freaking merry-go-round ... especially when it comes to sorting through the shitty summer movie line-up and coming up with a list of must-see summer movies.
So, what's this list mean to you. I'm really not sure, really.
It probably means eschewing the sun that you waited, oh, about six months to come back to Ohio, and - instead - huddling yourself into a dark theater and drinking one, two (or maybe even three) beers that you snuck into the theater.
Hint: Smuggle them into the theater via a rolled up jacket because you get (ahem) 'cold' in the theater.
So, here's my list. I would pick more. But let's be honest, we're talking about summer movies here, people. Anyway, enjoy.
Avengers (In Theaters)
Already saw it, suckas! Please excuse the shameless plug of my One Sentence Movie Reviews via Twitter (please follow).
'#AvengersAgeOfUltron ': A.I. takes center stage in this fun, #Summer2015 popcorn flick as the crew battles bots - with wisecracks galore.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 3, 2015
Mad Max: Fury Road (In Theaters)
Consider me intrigued. Charlize Theron, who still looks hot with a bald head and mechanical arm. Tom Hardy. Bunch of crazy looking freaks in the desert. Not to mention non-computerized special effects. The man, the myth, George Miller not directing dancing penguins. I'm in. May go see it this weekend matter of fact.
Tomorrowland (May 22)
When it comes to creating top-notch films, Director Brad Bird has the Midas touch. I mean look at his resume (Iron Giant, Ratatouille, The Incredibles, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, The Simpsons early episodes). First trailer had me intrigued. Second trailer, with a little more violence, little more action sealed the deal. This should be a fun ride. Even more fun than Tomorrowland's Space Mountain.
Entourage (June 3)
I hated the series finale. I hated the final season. But, I'm holding out hope that this movie has everything that the first couple seasons had, which is a little swagger, a little edge, a lot cussing and a bunch of titties. Eh, who are we kidding. It will probably suck.
Consider me intrigued. Charlize Theron, who still looks hot with a bald head and mechanical arm. Tom Hardy. Bunch of crazy looking freaks in the desert. Not to mention non-computerized special effects. The man, the myth, George Miller not directing dancing penguins. I'm in. May go see it this weekend matter of fact.
Tomorrowland (May 22)
When it comes to creating top-notch films, Director Brad Bird has the Midas touch. I mean look at his resume (Iron Giant, Ratatouille, The Incredibles, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, The Simpsons early episodes). First trailer had me intrigued. Second trailer, with a little more violence, little more action sealed the deal. This should be a fun ride. Even more fun than Tomorrowland's Space Mountain.
Entourage (June 3)
I hated the series finale. I hated the final season. But, I'm holding out hope that this movie has everything that the first couple seasons had, which is a little swagger, a little edge, a lot cussing and a bunch of titties. Eh, who are we kidding. It will probably suck.
Jurassic World (June 12)
My daughter's birthday is June 11. I asked her what she wanted to do for her 9th birthday. "I want to see Jurassic World at the theater," she said. "Clever girl," I said. Sadly, she didn't get the joke.
My daughter's birthday is June 11. I asked her what she wanted to do for her 9th birthday. "I want to see Jurassic World at the theater," she said. "Clever girl," I said. Sadly, she didn't get the joke.
Inside Out (June 16)
Pete Doctor's last Pixar effort (Up) won him an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. After reading about the making of this film in Ed Catmull's Creativity Inc., I'm pretty excited to see what the talented minds at Pixar have come up with this year - with my kids in tow of course.
Pete Doctor's last Pixar effort (Up) won him an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. After reading about the making of this film in Ed Catmull's Creativity Inc., I'm pretty excited to see what the talented minds at Pixar have come up with this year - with my kids in tow of course.
Dope (June 19)
The trailer looks a little like FRIDAY mixed with GO mixed with ENEMY OF THE STATE (or something like that). Hey, it's a high-school comedy with a nod to 90's hip hop. You gotta love that, right? Right?
The trailer looks a little like FRIDAY mixed with GO mixed with ENEMY OF THE STATE (or something like that). Hey, it's a high-school comedy with a nod to 90's hip hop. You gotta love that, right? Right?
Ant Man (July 17)
Why did Edgar Wright and Marvel part ways? That's the question that's going through my mind. That said, the trailer looks fun not to mention the footage that Wright created to sell the movie in the first place. How many times can I say Edgar Wright in this paragraph. Edgar Wright.
Trainwreck (July 17)
Comedian Amy Schumer writes and acts in a comedy directed by Judd Apatow? Sounds good to me. Let's hope it's a lot more succinct than Apatow's other directing efforts (e.g. 30 minutes shorter).
Why did Edgar Wright and Marvel part ways? That's the question that's going through my mind. That said, the trailer looks fun not to mention the footage that Wright created to sell the movie in the first place. How many times can I say Edgar Wright in this paragraph. Edgar Wright.
Trainwreck (July 17)
Comedian Amy Schumer writes and acts in a comedy directed by Judd Apatow? Sounds good to me. Let's hope it's a lot more succinct than Apatow's other directing efforts (e.g. 30 minutes shorter).
Pixels (July 24)
It's GHOSTBUSTERS meets 80's arcade games. What's there not to like from a summer flick - besides, of course, another Ghostbusters movie?
It's GHOSTBUSTERS meets 80's arcade games. What's there not to like from a summer flick - besides, of course, another Ghostbusters movie?
Southpaw (July 24)
Director Antoine Fuqua has some hits (Training Day) and misses (Olympus Has Fallen) with his directing decisions. But I think he made a good choice, even though the trailer looks like a little ROCKY mixed with RAGING BULL. Come to think of it, actor Jake Gyllenhaal looks like Jake LaMotta - so maybe this is a remake.
Director Antoine Fuqua has some hits (Training Day) and misses (Olympus Has Fallen) with his directing decisions. But I think he made a good choice, even though the trailer looks like a little ROCKY mixed with RAGING BULL. Come to think of it, actor Jake Gyllenhaal looks like Jake LaMotta - so maybe this is a remake.
Vacation (July 29)
Judging by the trailer (which gives way too much away), it's ruder and it's cruder, almost like We're The Millers - but with a real family. But, it's Gen-X nostalgia that takes me back to the 80's and will get me back into the theater to see it. So why wouldn't I try to see Russ Griswold take his family cross country sans Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo.
Judging by the trailer (which gives way too much away), it's ruder and it's cruder, almost like We're The Millers - but with a real family. But, it's Gen-X nostalgia that takes me back to the 80's and will get me back into the theater to see it. So why wouldn't I try to see Russ Griswold take his family cross country sans Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo.
Mission Impossible-Rogue Nation (July 31)
Speaking of Mission Impossible, I'm a sucker for these films. Brad Bird injected a great storyline and some kick-ass action into the last installment (Ghost Protocol). Curious to see what Director Christopher McQuarrie (who directed Jack Reacher and The Way of the Gun and also won an Academy Award for his screenplay for The Usual Suspects) can do with Ethan Hunt and his disbanded IMF posse.
Straight Outta Compton (August 14)
Back in the early 80's my brother got me hooked on rap and hip-hop (Run DMC, Too Short, Sugarhill Gang, Beastie Boys, BDP, Eric B & Rakim, etc. etc.). I would make mix tapes from all of his store-bought cassette tapes and play them into the ground. Then I would make more. Then, he bought Straight Outta Compton. And it hit me like a freight train. The anger. The beats. The rhymes. The passion. The angst. It was the birth of gangsta rap. It was one of the first rap cassette tapes that I purchased outright. And, now, I can't wait to witness the strength of street knowledge in the theater.
THIS YEAR'S GUILTY SUMMER PLEASURE:
San Andreas (May 29)
The Rock. A fault line. An earthquake. Los Angeles destroyed. A big wave. Fire and explosions. Poorly written romantic plot. What more can you ask for in a mindless summer popcorn movie - besides, of course, a big monster?
Back in the early 80's my brother got me hooked on rap and hip-hop (Run DMC, Too Short, Sugarhill Gang, Beastie Boys, BDP, Eric B & Rakim, etc. etc.). I would make mix tapes from all of his store-bought cassette tapes and play them into the ground. Then I would make more. Then, he bought Straight Outta Compton. And it hit me like a freight train. The anger. The beats. The rhymes. The passion. The angst. It was the birth of gangsta rap. It was one of the first rap cassette tapes that I purchased outright. And, now, I can't wait to witness the strength of street knowledge in the theater.
THIS YEAR'S GUILTY SUMMER PLEASURE:
San Andreas (May 29)
The Rock. A fault line. An earthquake. Los Angeles destroyed. A big wave. Fire and explosions. Poorly written romantic plot. What more can you ask for in a mindless summer popcorn movie - besides, of course, a big monster?
