This post is SALTACIOUS.

When I was a student at Martins Ferry High School waaaaaay back in the late 80's, there was this one dude in my class, a hippy cross country runner, who made up an interesting word.

At least I think he made it up.

The word was SALTACIOUS (pronounced SAL-TAY-SHUS)

Much like I use the word Fuck, during our senior year he and his buddy, another hippy cross country runner, would use the word in almost every sentence.

If a guy made a joke, he'd say, "Dude that was saltacious."

If a guy ripped on another guy, he'd say, "Man, that's pretty saltacious."

If someone did something bad and he was offended he'd say, "Saltacious, man. Totally saltacious."

So what does saltacious mean?

I'm not really sure. To be honest, I don't think he knew either.

Could he have meant salacious (–adjective. lustful or lecherous) and just added a 't' to be a goofy motherfucker?

Could he have been creatively using the word salty (-adjective. piquant; sharp; witty. racy or coarse)?

Unless he's reading Eimer Debris on this very day (which, judging by my daily site hits, I doubt) the world may never know.

To completely cover my bases, I looked the word up on Urban Dictionary.com - the end all, be all of slang definitions in the United States.

Oh sure, there's saltash, saltationist and saltastic.

But no saltacious.

Yet.

Having already been published on UrbanDictionary once, with the word Kool Moe Dee (see entry #3), I think I'm going to go for two and try to define my high school chum's word.

I'll keep you updated on the results.

But, you've got to admit, it's a pretty cool word nonetheless. Hell, I even used it last night:

WIFE-TO-BE: Hi, honey how was work today?

ME: Saltacious. Very, very saltacious indeed.

WIFE-TO-BE: ???????

I encourage you to use the word saltacious today.

"Tonight, We Dine in History Class!"

Just watched 300 last night. Great cinematography, great action sequences, great plot. All in all, not too shabby of a movie.

On the drive to work today, I was thinking about 300 and the other violent sandal epics. Then I started contemplating how boring all of my history classes were, even in college. Gettysburg Address. check. George Washington and the cherry tree. check. Mayflower. check. Yawn. I mean how many times can we learn about the same thing over and over again in the same, boring way?

I heard about this book called The Dangerous Book for Boys. It's a glorified Boy Scout manual on how to make a fire, how to make a bow and arrow out of a tree, how to kill a zombie (not really, but it should). In any event, the book teaches kids survivor/battle techniques in a fun, cool way. It's getting great reviews and, guess what, boys are actually sitting down to read it!

Then I though up a great idea.

I propose that high schools and colleges teach a History of Violence class. No, not the movie where Viggo Mortensen bangs Mario Bello on the steps. But a real-life class complete with textbooks and a teachers who teach the violent history of mankind including various revolts, riots, assasinations and battles.

Like it or not, wicked brutal acts have shaped our world into what it is today. And a lot of these stories have gone unnoticed. For instance, did you know that American Indians in the Yellow Springs, Ohio, area would torture their enemies including the white man by slowing burning them (literally cooking their insides) for days at a time? Neither did I. But my response is "Cool. Tell me more!"

I don't know about you but I could relate to why the Pilgrims came to the new world a whole lot better if there was a little bit of the old ultra-violence mixed in with the teaching. It makes the class interesting and it makes the learning process FUN. Especially if you're male, like me.

Here are my class offerings:

HoV 101 - Violence in the Roman Empire, Sparta and the Greeks, the Mayans, etc.

HoV 102 - Violence surrounding the crusades, the vikings and the world travelers including Magellan and Columbus. I'm pretty sure Vlad the Impalor would be taught during this class. I'm also forgetting about the Mongol Empire, the Japanese Samurai and the Kingdom of Egypt.

HoV 103 - Violence in Europe (Great Britain, France, Scotland and Ireland) including various uprisings, battles, beheadings and riots. NOTE: I'm sure the Battle for Scottish Independence and the true Knights of the Round table could be inserted into either 102 or 103.

HoV 104 - Historic violence in America (Revolutionary War, Vietnam, Harper's Ferry, slavery, Civil War, riots, famous assinations etc.) and leading up to Columbine, 9/11 and the War in Iraq.

HoV 105 - Violence in the World Wars including juicy tidbits about the Battle of Stalingrad.

In addition to the violent history of Africa, South America and Asia, we could also focus on violence in music from the tribal drums of Africa and why drummers marched in the Revolutionary War to heavy-metal death music and satanism. We could focus on violence in television, books and movies as well. The violent possibilities are endless.

And I would hire my buddy - a history major and avid, bloodthirsty war monger - to help shape the syllabi for the classes. Heck, if he's reading this post right now, I give him permission to take the idea and run with it.

If I was a kid in high school or college and I saw these classes available, I would definitely sign up. Heck, I might even major in it.

Seriously, wouldn't it be cool to tell people you have a PHD in VIOLENCE?