Hey! Parenting is getting easier.

For the past three years, I've glanced out the window at beautiful sunny days, pining to get outside and enjoy the great outdoors.

Then I begrudgingly would glance at my kids' closed doors, anxiously waiting for them to wake up from their naps so I could get outisde.

You know...people say that the first two years of your kid's life on this planet is pure bliss.

Let me tell you, most of them are lying.

As a matter of fact, the first two years of a child's life is a lot of:

- Buttwiping
- Sitting around
- Hanging inside the house
- Hovering
- Making sure they don't smack their head on sharp corners
- Feeding
- Getting woken up at night
- Missing out on life's events (which I wrote about previously)

Like I said, not for me.

However, with my daughter almost 4 and my son almost 3, I think I've hit a fatherhood turning point this spring.

Just yesterday, I was able to mow my entire 2.5 acre lawn with my kids hanging out in the backyard playing. Sure, I gave them each lawn-mower rides while mowing. But it was so great to see them walking around, picking up sticks, throwing rocks and being actual kids.

And it was liberating for me.

This spring and summer we've got a number of funcentric kid things on the docket...more trips to the swimming pool, amusement parks (Kennywood and Cedar Point), zoos (Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Akron and Columbus), road trips, cookouts, soccer, hiking on trails, vacation to the Jersey Shore, and let's not forget their first film at a bonafide movie theater (Toy Story 3).

Maybe, even possibly, a camping trip. (probably not).

And you know what? I'm looking forward to every single one of them. To add to that, I don't even feel like I'm 37. I feel like I did when I just graduated college. But a little smarter with a little more money in my bank account.

But I digress...

Yep, I put in my solid three years of baby rearing. Now it's time to get outside, rub the eye boogers out of my eyes and take a deep breath of the nice, warm outside air.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm finally back. With no more babies in tow.

Only pre-schoolers

A question about giving blood...

I was driving to work today thinking about the possibility of giving blood. I've never done it. Not sure why. I'm not entirely disgusted or light-headed when they red stuff has spurted out of my body in the past.

The thing I was wondering is if giving blood is healthy - for you - the person giving the blood.

Get rid of your old blood that's been surging through your body for 36+ years and have your body create new, fresh blood that revitalized. Like making Kool-aid in the summer - with insulin instead of sugar.

I'm curious if giving blood raises your life expectancy in any way too?

Hmmm, maybe that's a chapter for FREAKANOMICS BOOK 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

Playing The Game of Life.

I recently played Milton Bradley's The Game of Life.

I decided to take the college route and became a doctor.

Just like that, I was making $90,000 a payday. (All the while, I can't remember working on one single patient.)

In short, LIFE was good.

Suddenly, I got married to this beautiful pink peg. She was tall, slender and had a beautiful pink head. She was perfect.

We quickly got hitched at this beautiful white church. It was a wedding that I would soon forget. To be totally honest, I can't even remember the bachelor party. (Don't tell the wife. Ha Ha!)

We consumated our relationship during our honeymoon and had a number of pink and blue pegs on our journey through LIFE. (The time just whizzes by doesn't it?)

In addition to collecting a payday (sometimes two during a spin), I donated some of my cash to charities. Hell, I even had to pay bills and taxes along the way.

We were a family. One crank of the wheel at a time, we were living LIFE.

Ain't it grand?

So here I am in my beautiful green car, with my beautiful pink wife and a carload of blue and pink pegs. Then I think to myself, "Well, how did I get here?"

I passed one of my final paydays and collected my final paycheck. Then, I drove my family across a bridge, past the farmhouse shack and headed straight to the mansion next door.

I pulled myself out of my car, stretched my aching bones. I then gazed at my pink wife and my pink and blue kids. (I was working and driving so much that I really didn't get a chance to know them.)

The wind was blowing. The leaves were falling. There was a slight chill in the air. I felt it in my heart.

It was time to retire.

"This game called LIFE played out pretty fast," I thought to myself. "Seems like only 15 minutes ag0 that I graduated, got married and had kids."

Then I got depressed. Then I got desperate.

Then, with a makeshift purple plastic rifle that I fashioned from two of my kids with a burning match, I shot myself in my big, blue mind.

Goodbye LIFE. I'm headed to that great big multi-colored cardboard box in the sky.