Saturday, September 9, 2017

Eimer’s 2017 Fall Movie Viewing Wishlist


I hate fall. And I love fall.

I hate fall because I always get sick. Always, like four sinus infections, and some sort of intestinal flu. I also get a guaranteed migraine due to, what I believe is, the barometric pressure change in the atmosphere. Also, it's cold and shitty out. And never warm. Oh, and it gets dark earlier.

I love fall for the foliage. Halloween is always a favorite time for me. And let's not forget football. Glorious college and pro football. I also have a fondness in my heart for Thanksgiving and parties that always end up around a roaring wood fire. 

Oh, and I love fall movies, which - much like the seasons - signifies a major shift in the type of movies that are released. It's like a step up from the schlocky summer fare that the kids adore to some downright serious Academy Award contenders that adults implore. It's like the difference between a Fish Eye Merlot and a Francis Ford Copolla Claret - both available at CVS by the way.

So, with that said, here's a list of fall movies that I'm anticipating for the colder, crisper months that lie ahead.

I GOTTA SEE THESE:
IT – September 8
One of Stephen King’s best horror novels spread across two films? Plus a killer clown? Yep!

MOTHER! – September 15
Darren Aronofosky’s (The Wrestler, Requiem for a Dream) mysterious movie (with an exclamation point to boot) looks like an intriguing head scratcher.

LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE – September 22
After my high hopes for 'Lego Batman Movie' were squashed, hopefully this latest flick is much more of the original and a lot less of the bat plastic crap we saw earlier this year.

AMERICAN MADE – Sept 29
People may be sick of him, but I still like Tom Cruise. And I'm hoping this drug smuggling flick by ‘Edge of Tomorrow’ and 'Go!' director Doug Liman can get him back on track.

BLADE RUNNER 2049 – Oct. 6
You had me at ‘Blade Runner’. But add in 'Arrival' director Denis Villenueve, and I’m very interested. 

THE FOREIGNER – Oct. 13
Jackie Chan meets 'First Blood' in this very apropos terrorist bombing revenge flick directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale).

THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES (NEW AND SELECTED) – Oct. 13
One my favorite dramedy directors, Noah Baumbach, focuses his lens and script on three siblings healing old wounds while dealing with a disgruntled Dad.

WASTED: THE STORY OF FOOD WASTE – Oct. 13
Anthony Bourdain’s documentary on, well, see above, will probably be depressing, but entertaining at the same time. Right! Right?

THE SNOWMAN – Oct. 20
The trailer gives too much away, but I’m still intrigued in this best selling book transformed into a thriller movie directed by Tomas Alfredson (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy).

WONDERSTRUCK – Oct. 20
My son recommended Brian Selznick’s award-winning book to me over the summer. I read it and was intrigued with the overall plot techniques. Curious how Todd Haynes (Carol, Far From Heaven) will handle this New York drama (that's all I can say!).

THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER – OCT 27
Creative, innovative, quirky Yorgos Lanthimos, of 'The Lobster' and 'Dogtooth' directorial fame, is back. And isn’t that enough?

SUBURBICON – OCT. 27
George Clooney directs a dark comedy based on a Coen Brothers script about 59’s suburbia? Count this suburban asshole in!

THOR: RAGNORAK – NOV. 3
The only reason this Marvel movie is on the list is because humorously eclectic director Taika Waititi (What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt for the Wilderpeople) is at the helm.

THE DISASTER ARTIST – DEC. 1
I’m a sucker for movies about movies. And this film, about making one of the worst reviewed films of all time (The Room) is another one. Directed by James Franco starring Franco and Seth Rogan.

THE SHAPE OF WATER – DEC. 8
Guillermo Del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy, Pacific Rim) looks to be returning to his creepy horror roots in this aquatic creature/human love story? (note the question mark)

STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI – Dec. 15
Well, duh!

POSSIBLE GUILTY PLEASURES:
BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99 – Oct. 6
The pro: Vince Vaughn plays a badass in prison with a kick-ass movie title. The con: It’s directed by the guy who did Bone Tomahawk, which everyone loved, but I hated.

GEOSTORM – Oct. 20
My kids are pumped for this over-steroidal SFX showcase highlighting weather and global catastrophes. You know what? So am I!

JIGSAW – Oct. 27
I gave up on the SAW series after the third film. This new trailer looks appealing enough to dip my severed toe into it once again.

MY FRIEND DAHMER – Nov. 3
I gave the graphic novel by Derf rave reviews. But, is there enough meat in this human morsel about the notorious serial killer’s high school exploits in Bath, Ohio, to sustain a full-length feature meal? Burp!

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS – Nov. 10
Kenneth Branaugh directs a fantastic cast of Depp, Cruz, Dench, Pfeiffer and himself in this Agatha Christie classic, which I’ve never read.

NOT INTERESTED IN SEEING AT ALL:
  • Flatliners – Sept. 29
  • Only the Brave – Oct. 20
  • LBJ – Nov. 3
  • Daddy’s Home 2 – Nov. 10
  • Justice League – Nov. 17
  • Wonder – Nov. 17
  • Jumanji – Dec. 20


Well, do you agree/disagree? Enquiring minds like mine want to know!!