It's all in the numbers. Life, that is.

Just got back from my doctor. I had a blood test to check my cholestoral and other stuff. It's amazing how much they can read from a couple vials of blood.

In any event,

- My cholestorel isn't great (204)
- My good cholestoral is bad (45)
- My bad cholestoral is bad (130 - think)
- My triglycerides were up (due to frequent stops to Dunkin Donuts, no doubt)
- My liver function was OK. Not great. OK

Well, why am I highlighting all of this to total strangers? I don't know. But I do know that I'm not 25 anymore. I'm going to be 38 in July, which is very weird writing it (even saying it). I still feel like I'm 25. Perhaps, I'm still eating that way as well.

While I was on a run yesterday, I was thinking how bad off my body would be if I didn't exercise. Take note, I got these crappy results and I EXERCISE ALMOST EVERY DAY.

(sigh)

Well, at least I don't have cancer. At least, I don't have some sort of crazy kidney or liver disease. At least, it's just high cholestorol. Which can be treated with a pill.

Speaking of pills, it feels like I'm at CVS every other day picking up prescriptions for either myself, my kids and my wife.

I like that my bartender knows my name and my drink.

I don't like that my pharmacist knows my name and what drugs I'm taking.

The Interpretation of Time Through The Years

As I get older and older, I'm slowly realizing that time moves pretty fucking fast.

But, on the other side of the coin, why does an hour in a waiting room seem so freaking slow when you're six-years old compared to when you're, say, 36-years old?

Very weird, indeed.

Which sparked my mind about a Tom the Dancing Bug cartoon that I came across in the Columbus' Alternative Rag, The Other Paper, waaaaaaay back in 1997.

For some reason, it's stood the test of time inside my brain. And, thanks to the power of the internets, I finally was able to grab a copy online.

Check it out. I'm still not so sure why this strip in particular is so ingrained in my brain compared to all the other great cartoons out there (i.e. Calvin & Hobbes, Hate, The Far Side, Zits, etc.)

Click here for the cartoon.

He Ain't Puffy, He's My Friend.

I've got a lot of friends. And by a lot, I mean, probably, ten.

Due to the fact that my fiance' and I have two kids under two years old running around the house, neither of us have had any time to get out and see our friends. So, with the exception of e-mail and phone calls, I haven't had the chance to actually see a lot them in person for quite some time.

Which leads me to.....

A couple weeks ago, some of my buddies went on a week-long fishing trip to Canada. Of course I was invited, but I had to pass due to the fact that my girlfriend was giving birth on one of those days. I know, I know. That is very gracious of me.

After the weeklong trip was over, I was curious to see what I had missed. So I shot off an e-mail to one of my friends:
"Hey man, how was the trip? Send me some pics."
A couple days passed before I received an e-mail with pics of all the guys drinking, fishing and having a great time.

Then something caught my attention.

Lately, I've noticed that there's been a significant transformation in everyone's appearance - including my own. It wasn't until I viewed the photos from my buddy's fishing trip, that the light bulb went off.

We're All Getting Puffy.

And by puffy, I'm not talking overweight, fat or rotund. I'm talking puffy. You know, maybe one too many beers mixed with one too many cheese steaks and not a lot of exercise.

That type of puffy.

I e-mailed my buddy about my casual observation.

His response:
"Hey fucker!!! YES, I am Puffy, Goddammit!! I have three kids to keep me puffed out. And you’re just one more shot past the goal to achieving similar levels of puffiness!"
The man made a lot of sense. I responded to his e-mail by saying that, in fact, it wasn't him who I thought was puffy, but the rest of the crew.

His response:
"Yeah. Some of them are Baby Puffy (because they have a baby) and others are Booze Puffy (from drinking too much booze)."

Ahhh yes, the wonders of growing old.

This weekend, I'm heading to Toledo to attend my friends' daughter's first-birthday party. A lot of other friends are showing up to celebrate this grand occasion.

Oh sure, I'll watch the little girl open her gifts, stick her hand into the cake and get all messy why everyone laughs and oohs and ahhs.

But the one thing I'll really be looking at is...how puffy everyone has become.