Thursday, January 22, 2015
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Eimer's Best Movie Experiences of 2014
I'm slowly trying to get my kids ingrained into my 141 Best Movies of All Time. However, I have to be selective due to the gore, blood, and cussing that's prevalent in most of the films.
That said, my NEW movie viewing has suffered a bit this year because of my fatherly duties of transforming them into film buffs. But, I'm trying.
I should note out of the 27 movies I need to see before 2015 (posted on November 11 of this year), I've seen a sorry six? Sad. Just sad.
So, don't take this list as a precursor to Academy Award winning movies. Rather take this as Top-20 list from a guy who takes limited trips to the theater and tries to catch new films on Pay-Per-View and DVD.
With that, please enjoy the positive doppelganger to yesterday's Worst Movies of 2014 list - brought to you by my twitter handle 1SentenceMovieReviews.
'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes': M-16s, apes, & post-apocalyptic angst merge with strong SFX and plot for an above-par cinematic experience
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 16, 2014
‘Interstellar’: Nolan’s ambitious, thought-provoking space opus combines great SFX with a solid story & mind-blowing physics.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 8, 2014
‘Chef’: Jon Favreau returns to his writing-directing indie roots serving up a tasty dish of humor, inspiration & zest for life.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 4, 2014
‘The Babadook’: Above-par Aussie indie film offering old-school scares, eerie chills & a new horror legend via a haunted children’s book.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 2, 2014
'Jodorowsky's Dune': If you're a film buff, check out this fascinating doc about one of the most ambitious sci-fi films that was never made.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 1, 2014
'X-Men: Days of Future Past': Expecting another mediocre Marvel flick, I'm pretty sure that I just watched the best of the entire X series.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) November 25, 2014
'Big Hero 6': It's a superb celebration of science with quality animation, smart dialogue, heaps of action, inspiring ideas & tons of heart
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) November 14, 2014
'Begin Again': Director Carney channels HUSTLE & FLOW, ONCE & JERRY MAGUIRE to create a heartfelt flick about chasing dreams & making music.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) November 6, 2014
'Night Moves': Under-the-rader, beautifully shot, well-directed & timely drama about three eco-terrorists who scheme to blow up a hydro dam.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) October 30, 2014
'Edge of Tomorrow': Liman blends STARSHIP TROOPERS with GROUNDHOG DAY to create a nearly flawless sci-fi flick starring Cruise and Blunt.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) October 16, 2014
‘Gone Girl’: Fincher’s dark, poignant, well-crafted film examines modern marriage, unrequited love, calculated revenge & mass media flaws.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) October 10, 2014
'Neighbors': From start to finish, a fun, above-par, laugh-out loud comedy as thirty-something Rogen and frat-boy Efron trade hostilities.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) September 25, 2014
'Grand Budapest Hotel': Beautifully shot & highly amusing, Fiennes leads an impressive cast through Wes Anderson's whimsical, creative world
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) August 27, 2014
‘Guardians of the Galaxy’: Imaginative storyline, clever dialogue & SFX eyegasms galore, a surprisingly fun sci-fi romp from start to Groot.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) August 12, 2014
'Snowpiercer': A brutally astonishing slice of post-apocalyptic sci-fi about class warfare being fought on an imaginative train to nowhere.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) July 24, 2014
'Her': Director Jonze's creativity shines through in this well-acted, eerie sci-fi rom-com about a man (Phoenix) in love with his OS system.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 20, 2014
'About Time': An eccentric family intertwines with time travel to make one helluva great rom com about love, life, relationships & happiness
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 21, 2014
'The World’s End': The final installment of Wright and Pegg’s Cornetto trilogy is a fun, freaky, nostalgic, creatively wild sci-fi ride.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 16, 2014
'The Lego Movie': One of the most creative, playful, visually stunning, laugh-out loud films I've seen in quite some time.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) February 10, 2014
'Captain America: The Winter Soldier': Cap's second feature is action-packed with a timely plot, above-par direction and cheeky dialogue.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 14, 2014
CHECK OUT MORE OF EIMER'S FAVORITES:
Friday, January 2, 2015
Eimer's Worst Movie Experiences of 2014
So, early last year, I started a Twitter account called #1SentenceMovieReview.
I was hoping that it would be my meal ticket out of here. I was hoping that I could make my millions off the great press and advertising from all the hits I was going to receive. I was hoping I could retire - and live the rest of my life in Puerto Rico posting movie reviews from the comfort of my own beach house, which I would call Eimer Lagoon.
Well, as my 15 followers and hardly any Twitter shares can attest, the experiment isn't going exactly as planned. However, I might as well see this little experiment through for the next couple years. If anything, it's a nice writing challenge to try and be succinct, funny and provocative in 140 characters or less.
So, with links to my twitter account, I give you the 15 worst movies I watched in 2014. Keep in mind, these are not necessarily 2014 movies, but movies I viewed in 2014 that I hated (hence the word 'experiences').
’22 Jump Street’: The gang's all back but it’s never a good sign when the end credits are wittier, snarkier & funnier than the entire movie.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 5, 2014
‘Into the Storm’: Despite the inspiring CG 'tornado of fire', this TWISTER-wannabe deserves a permanent trip ... into the crapper.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) December 3, 2014
'Hercules': Poor acting, meh battles, crappy SFX and blah storyline made me yearn for Kevin Sorbo's TV series & Lou Ferrigno's 1983 film.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) November 7, 2014
‘Pompeii’: Mix GLADIATOR with TITANIC, then sprinkle in an active volcano, shitty acting & crappy SFX to create this vile pile of lava poo.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) November 4, 2014
'The Rover': Aussie post-economic collapse revenge flick that's humdrum & lumbering with little dialogue, violent tinges and an okay ending.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) October 21, 2014
'Willow Creek': It's a blatant BLAIR WITCH PROJECT ripoff that reeks like a pile of #Bigfoot poo.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) October 15, 2014
'The Amazing Spider-Man 2': When you & your kids are wondering when the movie is going to end you know you're watching a bad superhero film.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) September 22, 2014
'The Other Woman': Female empowerment takes a blow thanks to this chick-flick with a vapid plot that could only be contrived in Hollywood.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) September 2, 2014
'Rio 2': Going from first to second, this creatively stuffed bird has lost its fancy plumage.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) August 8, 2014
'You're Next': Not another sub-par, slightly-bloody home invasion movie with bad guys brandishing knives & wearing funny creature masks.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 16, 2014
'Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues': The KVWN channel 4 news team is back, with a thin plot & many recycled jokes you saw in the first film.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) May 1, 2014
‘Incredible Burt Wonderstone’: Pulling a turd out of a hat is more entertaining than this d’illusional magician comedy.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 17, 2014
'The Heat': McCarthy & Bullock play two very different cops as they try for Beverly Hills Cop laughs, but only manage Turner & Hooch.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 14, 2014
'The Lone Ranger': Even Johnny Depp as Tonto can't save this lengthy, plodding and all-around Ke-mo Slop-ee film.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) March 4, 2014
'Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters': It's Harry Potter in the water … with a tip of the hat to Pinocchio.
— 1SentenceMovieReview (@EimerFilmReview) April 7, 2014
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