Thursday, August 2, 2007

Six Surefire Ways to Beat Stress.

There's no way to avoid stress altogether. Pressures and tensions are a normal part of everyday existence.

But, learning to protect yourself from the effects of chronic stress may help you live a longer, healthier life.

That's why I've come up with SIX surefire ways to remain stress-free throughout the day:
  1. Get a hand job.

  2. Rent the movie Irreversible.

  3. Find a kitty on the side of the road. Adopt it. Kill it.

  4. Go up to a bum and piss in his donation cup.

  5. Breathe in...about five cigarettes and two shots of Jack Daniels per day.

  6. Start a fight with your spouse every night. Make sure the focus is about money.

Practice these techniques once or twice daily. Best times are before breakfast and/or after dinner.

Good luck and happy living.

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